Select Region
Follow us!


Sore Loser Blues


No one likes losing, but some children react more poorly than others. What can you do to help your child? 

Sore losers have a harder time making and maintaining friendships than their peers.

No one likes losing, but some children react more poorly than others. They may walk off the basketball court without shaking their opponents' hands or yell at teammates who made mistakes. If they compete in individual sports, they’ll claim that the outcome wasn’t their fault. Instead they’ll blame outlying factors: Who could expect an athlete to run quickly when it's so windy outside—or his shoelaces aren't double-knotted properly?

Taming the tantrums isn’t easy, but it's essential. Having one sore loser on a team can ruin the experience for everyone, says Steve Ettinger a long-time Manhattan soccer coach. Sore losers have a harder time making and maintaining friendships than their more poised peers.

Identifying why children are upset can help parents respond appropriately. Children may worry about what others think of their loss, or associate winning with their worthiness. Many times, they simply need to be taught new ways of thinking about their performance with a reminder that all athletes lose.



What to Do?

Children who are in the midst of a meltdown should be taken aside by a parent. Perhaps, she can walk around a neighboring soccer field while discussing the reasons she’s upset until she's calm enough to return. Was it a missed call by a referee that has her outraged, or her inability to score in the final minutes when her team needed her?

Listen to your child and alleviate her fears in whatever way makes sense for your situation. The referee may have had a different vantage point than your daughter. Missed last-minute goals can easily be explained by the surge in adrenaline caused by high-pressure situations.

And remember, Ettinger says, even in a highly competitive environment, valuable lessons can be learned from losing. If you don't make mistakes, how will you know what to do better?

More After-School Articles:

School, Camp, & After-School Class Open Houses in Manhattan This Month

Walk the halls and meet school, camp, and after-school faculty at open house in Manhattan. Find your open house event online.


Latest News:

School, Camp, & After-School Class Open Houses in Brooklyn This Month

Walk the halls and meet school, camp, and after-school faculty at open house in Brooklyn. Find your open house event online.


Family Activities:



Have a Laugh:

Best Memes of the Week for Parents

Here are the funniest parenting memes from Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit this week.
Amber Greviskes

Author: Amber Greviskes is a frequent contributor to NYMetroParents. She lives in New York, and has also contributed to "Parenting" and "BabyTalk" magazines. See More

Featured Listings:

Palisades Climb Adventure

Palisades Climb Adventure

West Nyack, NY Get ready to experience the World’s tallest indoor ropes course standing 85 feet tall. Palisades Climb Adventure combines the thrill of challenge with...

Kon Gen International Preschool

Kon Gen International Preschool

Bayside, NY Kon Gen International Preschool is a child-focused and family friendly pre-school located on the border of Flushing and Bayside serving children 2 to ...

Ohman School of Ballet

Ohman School of Ballet

Commack, NY Now in its 34th year, the Ohman School of Ballet was founded by Frank Ohman, former soloist of New York City Ballet and is one of the few remaining di...