Parenting Lessons from the Obamas

Last week, I told my 10-year-old that Sasha Obama, the president’s 15-year-old daughter, missed her father’s major farewell address in Chicago because, according to press reports, she had a science test the next morning. The smile and “wow” that came from my hard-to-impress daughter said a lot to me. This was true awe, from someone who, in her own personal way, is learning to balance the demands of school, family commitments, extracurricular activities, friends, and personal time. 

The president and his family live a very public life that's endlessly scrutinized, with every pronouncement and action making a statement, whether intentionally or not. As parents, the Obamas have set a model example for the rest of us, raising two girls who by all accounts are extraordinary and grounded, despite the unusual circumstances of the past eight years.

As they prepare to leave the White House, here are the top seven parenting lessons I learned from First Lady Michelle Obama and President Obama: 

1. Make the time, even when you don’t think you have it. President Obama had dinner with his family as often as possible, insisting his schedule be configured so he could be home five nights per week for supper. He liked to say that that was a perk of “living above the store,” having a “45-second commute” from the Oval Office to the White House residential quarters. Of course, the length of the commute is not what would keep most presidents from the family dinner table, but Obama made sure to be there, despite the stresses and demands of the job. It makes me realize how often I am distracted while home with my kids, checking my phone and thinking about work rather than being fully engaged with them. 

2. Stick to your values and priorities, even when there is reason not to. None of us on the outside can know what went into the decision for Sasha to stay home and miss her father’s farewell address. But I have trouble believing that they couldn’t work something out for her to take her test another day. Nevertheless, she stayed home and, presumably, took her test. Sometimes school comes first, no matter what. 

3. That said, know when to bend the rules. The Obama girls have seen their share of the world these past eight years, going on trips with one or both of their parents that most of us can hardly even dream of. No doubt, at least some of these were during the school year and required them to play a little well-planned, highly coordinated hooky. Sometimes we decide that school does come second, and that's ok, so long as our kids—and we parents—work with their teachers to make it right.