Why You Should Never Comment on a Pregnant Woman’s Diet

This local mom of six kids riffs on pregnancy cravings and nine months’ worth of unfiltered comments from friends and strangers alike.
 

Why does the sight of a pregnant woman seem to give people the urge to say things they never normally would? Before I was pregnant, if I put on a couple of pounds over the holidays, for instance, nobody would exclaim, “Wow, are you packing on the pounds!” But now, I’m on the receiving end of ‘jokes’ such as, “Looks like you are going heavy on the ice cream. Maybe try more pickles!” about once a week. 

I’ve honed a collection of effective responses to the parade of comedians. They range from “Thanks! Comments like that make my day,” and “You’re right! I do look much further along than I am. I’d better call the doctor to make sure he didn’t make a mistake,” to “I’m short, so I look bigger than I am.”

My first-choice reaction, though, if I can muster it, is to cry.

And sometimes, I’m not faking.

In the beginning of a pregnancy, I only feel good maybe 20 percent of the time. The other 80 percent I am battling nausea (Did someone just eat peanut butter? What were you thinking? Brush your teeth. Quick!) and dizziness. So during those two days out of 10, I make up for all the morning sickness. (Have you got any more peanut butter? What about raspberry jam?)

During the second trimester, I am famished pretty much all of the time. Feelings of nostalgia well up within me, resulting in pots of Bubby Goldberg’s matzo ball soup and 9-by-13-inch pans of my mother’s cheesy lasagna. I’m helpless against the siren call of starchy, gooey comfort food.